Thrilled
Tuesday, October 15, 2013 at 6:31PM Sooooo … it turns out that when the company that has control of your domain name sends you a renewal notice, they aren’t joking around. Miss that by a day and your whole site is down for over a week!
Good thing nothing much happened during that week.
Except this:
I have reached a place where I really, really like my marriage.
If you would have told me that two years ago I would have shrugged politely.
If you had told me that one year ago I would have given you a disbelieving glare.
Six months ago I would have been hopeful that you were right, but made you pinky swear that it would actually happen.
Today?
I am thrilled.
On the way to our last marriage counseling appointment we were racking our brains about what to discuss with her. It had been three weeks since our last meeting, but we had nothing. I came up with something lame and trivial just to give us something to discuss, but we resolved that in five minutes. Thirty minutes into the appointment she finally said that we’re good to go. She doesn’t think we need to visit with her again unless something arises or we need a tune up.
We graduated marriage counseling!
Things aren’t perfect. Trust isn’t something you rebuild overnight and in moments of fatigue or stress, old habits tend to arise but by and large I am enjoying my marriage more today than I have …
well …ever.
When we were at the National Institute of Marriage last year, they outlined their goal as helping couples achieve a marriage they are thrilled with. At the time, I was just hoping for tolerable. I could not even imagine what thrilled would look like. But right now I can honestly say that I am thrilled with my marriage. It makes me giggle to say that, but it’s true.
I’ve been pondering this question: Could we have gotten to where we are today without going through that absolute horrible, desperate place first?
Yes. I think we could have. It seems though that we are the type of people who have to hit rock bottom before we find the impetus to change.
Don’t be like us.
If you are in a place where you aren’t thrilled with your marriage, don’t wait for things to get worse before you do something about it. It’s like when you know you need to lose 10 pounds but you keep eating like a teenager anyway until you need to lose 20. If you had just stopped at 10 and turned things around, you would have quickly been to your goal weight and happily moved on. 20 pounds is a lot harder to lose and takes longer. 30 or 40 is even worse.
I wish that when we were just moderately unhappy we would have done something about it. I think we were both too stuck on wanting the other person to change and NOT wanting to be the one who made the first move. Stubborn pride. If we had acted then, we could have saved ourselves, our kids and our families and friends a lot of heartache.
Not to mention the lawyers’ fees. If you think marriage counseling is too expensive, go price a divorce lawyer and the cost of running two households. A marriage intensive will seem like a real bargain then.
Reader Comments (11)
I am so happy for you!
So happy to hear it! Yay!
Thrilled for you!!
best.post.ever. :)
Yippee!!!!!
Love, love, LOVE!! You guys are so cute! I've missed your blog...even though seeing you in person is always better, but I love reading your blog. It is the only one that I read regularly :)
Tears in my eyes over this. Seriously love it. And I am thrilled FOR you guys!
Yay!! I am thrilled for you both. So very happy for you guys.
I just love you both. So. Very. Much. I wish I could tell you how much.
So that's why every so often I see an advertisement for doors pop up instead of your blog! I have a friend who needs this type of counseling. So glad you are doing well in your marriage.
This post makes me smile! So happy for you :)